looking for myself

looking for myself
looking for my self
it harder that finding other thing
i'm looking for my self

other people finding their selves quite fast
some faster thank blink of the eye
some slow, but the found it anyway
me, i thought i found it, bit i haven't

where is my self? i wonder
is me self hiding?
or unseen to my eyes?
or the time is not yet come?

i wonder where is my self
i need my self to become whole
since i only i
need my self to become myself

so, where is my self
i need it to so badly
patient is a virtue i know
but when my self appear?

do you know who your self?
do you know who my self?
i wonder who will be my self
to make me, myself

a new door opened

the world is vast
so vast no mind can explore
so vast no time can conquer
so vast and so vivid and so far

i live in just a fragment of the world
a fragment to serve other fragment
and together to support a system
a system called world

every second...
every breath...
every heartbeat....
every cell....

just to support this system
I'm getting bored
I can't stand it anymore
tired of this circle

but a new door opened for me
just like all doors before it
a new doors just appear out of nowhere
so must i opened it cheerfully or not?

i wonder what lies upon that door
it sounds good and i like the sound
it looks nice and i like the view
but what sounds good and looks nice doesn't mean it is

so....
should i?
ah heck with it
just go and open it...

near yet so far

today you are in front of me
but the wall seems so high and thick
yet you are in hand reach
and at the same time in different face of the earth

its been a while
my heart ache to see hold the feeling
the feeling i thought i lost
yet i stood silently

oh God, what should i do?
she is near yet so far
its sound cliche
but its rather hard in real time

our past seems like a distant memories
almost like a distant mirage
but now, the mirage seems real
and i almost can touch it

yet its near and so far
near in reach of hand
far in reach of heart
near and far....

like a stranger

you are once my world
everything start with you
and everything donw for you
but now you like a stranger to me

you were once know me
and i know you
but now i don't know anymore
like a stranger i meet anyplace

i once tell you everything
i share all i know
but now i rarely speak to you
like a stranger we are now

i once can't stand a day without meeting you
my heart ache of missing you
but now i pass days alone
like a stranger on the bus

you were a world to me
but now you are a stranger
although you and i don't want to
we are not living in the past anymore

i had many promises to you
to take you to ducky
to bring you banana every week
to learn how to swim

but all that promises seems distant
like a mirage in a desert
blurring by the wind of time
a squall that make us like a stranger

i ache to think about past
i wish i could turn back time
i wish i could return to that time
and mend everything

but now is now
past is past
is no longer can't be mended
and now we're like a stranger

friends... but like a stranger....

drifting away

like a coconut
when they fall from their nest
they fall to unending sea
just drifting away

my feeling now is drifting
in black and dark sea of nothingness
bubbling up and down
nowhere to go

like a kitten
blind to his world
only trust his mother
just drifting away

my feeling cling to old flame
like a moth chasing fire
oblivious to the simple truth
that the flame has turn into ember

like a rock
when the fall into sea
no eyes will gaze upon it
even if its the greatest jewel

my sinking feeling
turn away from surface
getting harder to recognize
as time flow and drifting away

fleeting feeling

the feeling
the feeling i felt
this feeling i once held
this feeling once a world to me

sway by the wind
a zephyr
a slow, calm, soft wind
but a wind nonetheless

am i happy or sad with this
i have no idea
i don't know what future have in store for me
i don't even don't know whether i like it or not

but this feeling i have
start to sway in the wind
fleeting feeling
bit by bit, blow by calm and slow zephyr

teaching is hard

teaching is hard
who says teaching is easy
no matter how smart one is
no matter ho experienced one is
teaching is hard

when student come
the come with various brain
some brain ready to learn
some brain not even want to be here
we must patient and embrace them all

when student come
they come with various situation
some situation pump them up
some situation make them down
we must patient and embrace them all

when student come
they come with different skill
some are skillful
some are skill-less
nonetheless, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
they leave us with another thought
thought of future meeting
whether they understand of not
nonetheless, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
their parents come
some parents bring joy
some parents bring scold
still, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
and leave us to rest
we think about ourselves
what should we do to gain food
still, we must patient and embrace them all

a small wind of change

a small breeze coming from nowhere
a small wind of change
come to wash my agony
a bit by a bit

this wind might be small
and incomparable to my sadness
but at least its a start
a small wind of change

fly like bird

i might have been a cage
blocking all your growth
fencing all your will
but i do it all to protect you

i might have been an iron chain
locking on your leg
slow you down in any way
but i do it because i want to be with you

i might have been a strict warden
look at you all the time
watch your every movement
but i do it because i don't want anything bad happened to you

but it's all useless now
how hard the cage
how strong the chain
how strict as i am

you have fly away
like a bird
soar to unseen sky
til i even can't catch any glimpse

you have gone...
leaving an empty cage
an useless chain
and a jobless warden

the cage is now rotten
the chain is now broken
the warden is now sacked
because there are nothing to protect

fly away
go and fly
i will stay here
just right here

if you someday, somehow
tiring of flying
and wish to see me again
you won't losing me

because i am standing here...

walking alone

human are destined to walk in desert of life
sometimes they found other human to walk together
but most of the time they walk alone

some people only walk together
when they have any need or
there are benefits for them

human are such egoist...
maybe that's why God punish us
to walk alone til our death

it seems grim
but at least
people are like that