i want a lot of thing

i want a lot of things
so may things i wonder
when or how in the world i will get that
i want a lot of things

i want a new laptop
to change my oldie alexia
i want a new house
bigger than my own now
i want a vacation
to far places i never been
i want ps3
to play to my heart content
i want a car
so i could learn to drive it
i want a better paid jobs
so i could have more money
i want i want i want
so so so so many things

but i wonder...
should i chase those stuff?

dear God,
i know i shouldn't chase worldly stuff
because they are a fleet of moment
where You are eternal

please teach me to satisfied
with all i have

i still have alexia
old but trusty
i have my house
with my personal room
i have my vacation
at least i'm not held in one place
i have ps2 and celya
and many other games i even not yet touch
i have my strong feet
to bring me anywhere i want
i have a wonderful job
and plenty time to earn more

Dear God, help me to feel satisfied
because i believe you will give more
to those who never give up
and work hard to reach satisfaction

give thanks

i am not strongly physical
i am weak and fat
but i offer my thanks to you Lord
because i still stay healthy until today

i am not able to do much
let it biking or swimming
but i offer my thanks to you Lord
because i able to make programs and create poems and play

i am not rich
nor i earn much
but i offer my thanks to you Lord
because i still able to feed myself and enjoying life

i am not friendly
i envy people who have relation so vast
but i offer my thanks to you Lord
because i still have friend who treats me well not because what i have

i have a pathetic job
lots of work, minimum paid and almost care from employer
but i offer my thanks to you Lord
because i still have job that i love

and finally
i give thanks to you Lord
i have my wify who i love and who love me back
that is my miracle and i really hope you will guide our hands

and help us Lord
guide our hand
to walk your beautiful hand
to the end you saw

and always learn to give thanks all the time

am i too arrogant?

i have achieve the highest level
i have become too arrogant to that achievement
maybe too arrogant i forget my original value
i forget to say thanks for it

i just receive a small gratitude from the people i struggle for
not even thanks until today
but at least i receive something
not nothing

i should thanks for that
although it is far from my expectation
although it is not of my hope
but still i have something

i should thank my wify
i still able to get support
the one i really need
for me to stand tall

God, please help me
and show me the way
i am blind and lost
without your guidance

teacher's day

25 November, national teacher's day
a day specially designed to celebrate teacher throughout the country
but what to celebrate? why should celebrate?
three years i teach, i wonder why should we celebrate?

we are called heroes
without badges and honorary star
but actually we are second class people
without rewards and honor

people said that teacher are noble job
but without any nobility
people said be anything but teacher
but encourage teacher being amazing job

we are winner
but we only get consolation prize
we are the front row
but we are called the last

sometimes i wonder
i wonder of my own resolution
my own commitment
should i keep move on this path

teacher is hard
but this is harsh
teacher are part of society nonetheless
but we still second rate in their eyes

so why i wonder
we should celebrate teacher's day
well every other day we celebrate society's day
why i wonder

but we still need to teach nonetheless
our call is strong in our vein
no matter how hard and harsh it is
we still teach nonetheless

we are bound to get something
something at least
our hard work will be payed
one day... some other day

my absence

my absence
my leave
left me with mountain of jobs
oh dear

at school
debating waiting in 2 days
where i must prepare them to battle
to war, can i finish it?

still at school
Christmas already near
and no visible preparation are made
oh dear, can i finish it?

still at school
atra legio movie
already left with so many unanswered
oh dear, can i finish it?

at kaskus
Univerto my personal dream project
which already become a big team
oh dear, can i finish it

still at kaskus
my daily question
without any changing in 2 weeks
oh dear, let's get it on

so many things to do
so little time
hmmm
let's do it!!!!!!

i still sick

no matter how much i wish i could rise and shine
no matter how much i want to laugh or sing
no matter how much i want to run and stroll
no matter how much i want to have a sound sleep

i still sick
God, please heal me...

thanks for everything

today is my 24th birthday
i thought today will be like every other day
just a day...
sunday, go to church, fitness, karaoke

but you made my day
a usual day into wonderful day
a wonderful day into beautiful day
a beautiful day into unforgettable day

thanks for everything my beloved wify
for everything you done
although sloppy and plan-less
but still i feel utmost joy

i shout to the lord the day i meet you
i am the luckiest man in the world
having you by my side
may God's name be glorified forever!

am i at fault?

am i at fault?
i asked that question
many time before
but this time in in different level

am i at fault?
so that they become this wild?
am i at fault?
so that they become this brutal?

am i failed?
am i at fault?
i wonder should i change?
should i strict?

not a moment pass

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
remembering how your hair smell
how you smile widely

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
how you cook for me
and how you calm my soul

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
when i eat i want to share it with you
when i sleep i want you beside me

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
when i work i think how your work
and pray you didn't make any sloppy mistake

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
when i have matters in mind
i wish i could discuss it with you

not a moment pass
i don't think about you
even in my dream
i wish to see you there

you have become me world
my heart
my soul
me self

not a moment pass
when i think about you
i wonder
do you think about me as well

after so long

after many days
many hidden irks
many sweats
many hard work

it pays today
at the perfect moment
at the best possible moment
thanks God!!

incomplete

right without left is incomplete
sun without moon is incomplete
light without darkness is incomplete
north without south is incomplete
prey without predator is incomplete
strings without synch is incomplete
sopran without tenor is incomplete
tree without leaves is incomplete
machine without gear is incomplete
man without woman is incomplete
i without you is incomplete

i feel incomplete without you
even for a few hours

path's divergence

my path are clear
and obscure at the same time
my path are clear?
or obscure? i don't know

every paths have their own strengths
every paths have their own weaknesses
every paths have their own opportunities
every paths have their own threats

i am in the path's divergence
which path should i take
My Lord, Jesus Christ
help me and guide me

should i stick to original plan
crafting my future by my original plan
wait for opportunities to rise
to bring me and her to new height?

or should i be vigilantes
and craft everything from zero
making my own home early
with many difficulties ahead?

should i change my job to a better payed
and support us as a strong pillar
and missing my teaching days
with jealousy seeing my old school?

should i ask my parents for aid
to creating my house earlier
with facing their own mind
and chances being rejected totally?

should i move
to another place
where i begin everything from nothing
hope for the best God provide?

should i ask for my employer's aid
by asking rewards for my dedication
with chances they will put me back at school
or it might another day to paradise?

God, i don't know
please guide me
guide us
for we are lost without You

my deepest gratitude

this year
You have give me a lot
more than i imagine
You give me anyway

when i worried of my school first exams
You give me way
and you let all of my beloved children pass
no one was left behind

and i thank You for that
only You who can make some children
with lack of brain, or lack of attitude
who can make them all pass

when i was threatened to live without home
you give me a house
a house that have a potential
potential to be new playground

and i thank You for that
only You can make me found that place
although i'm weak and poor
You make me wealthy and content

when i was left by my soul
You let me meet my queen
who i believe will forever be my queen
may her be my last

and i thank You for that
only You who can heal my heart
to believe and love once again
You make me whole once again

when i worried about my school
You give the best score
if i am only satisfied with B
You give an A

and i thank You for that
only You who can lift my school
my career and my work up to the sky
this i present as Your Glory

in the end
i Thank You for always being here with me
although i am not always a good believer
but i Thank You, my deepest gratitude


GLORY TO THE NAME OF GOD!

transformation

a ugly duckling
a beauty in disguise
caterpillar
a magnificent hiding in a shell

they might be ugly now
unsightly
but they will transform
to incredible sight

the ugly duckling will transform
into translucent swan
spread their wide wings
and glittering under the sun

the caterpillar will transform
into graceful butterfly
colorful and shining
dancing freely in the sky

and you too
will transform
to more beautiful than you are now
so don't worry, i know the real beauty inside you

equality equals more than equal

when a number stand alone
it just there
never change
never move

when they are two numbers
they just there
only move back and forth
do not create anything

but when they are a sign
with plus they can add themselves
created a new number
created a new height

but better with a multiple
together they can multiple themselves
to reach another higher ground
together to have more

its just like you and me
alone we are nothing
but together
we can reach a higher ground

like i am your power
the power to pass the days
the strength to face future
and sunshine to warm your heart

you are my energy
the energy to run through tasks
the tenacity to go further
and moonlight to calm my soul

together, we will make a new whole
a new whole world
where we are no longer a single number
but have the capacity to create an infinite result

you are my equals
as i am yours equal
both of us equals
but the equality of us equals more than equal

may God also see this as His beautiful plan
may God take both our hand
and bring us to His path
to light of the brighter future

after a long long time

after a long long time
i can write again

its only 5 hours
for me its like 5 days

how i long to write here
to express my feeling

my feeling of tired
of sickness but still need to teach

my feeling of loneliness
when i can't talk to her

my feeling of boredom
when i can't continue my game

after a long long time
i can write here again....

tiring and boresome

today is truly tiring
i'm fatigue beyond me
today is truly boresome
kinda lose my energy

am i get some sickness
i hope not, teacher must not sick
am i miss her to ache
i sure hope not, i don't want her as my downfall

maybe today i'm just tired
i hope i can regain my power
once tonight i meet her
because you are my power, my beloved queen

everything about you

together with you
is like living in endless time
time of joy and time of happiness
no mind about live and all its problem

being with you
is bliss in the garden
i feel calm holding you
nothing else is matter

oh time, why you must walk
when i having my joy
when i having my peace
why should you walk?

time run slower when i'm missing you
in my brain, heart and soul
longing just to see you
oh, how i miss you

in world time, it just couple of hour
but being with you seems like minutes
so fast i don't realize
what happens around me and you

its true world seems belong to us
when i am with you
everything about you
making me forget that world is round