where my life take me?

where is my life take me, God?
I feel I’m just drifting when I’m sure
I feel my stand are firm when I’m confuse
where is my life is taking me?

I wonder about my future
scared and anxiety
hopeful and giddy
but nonetheless afraid of my inability

I am able Dear God, I thanks you for that
but I am also unable at the same time
I wonder, why You gave me amazing skill but almost none of the normal skill?
sound like I’m complaining now eh?

sometime I wonder how is it to become someone else
someone else superior, rich ones, smart ones, leading ones
but they also have their own problems
just like I do, I have my own problems

I fear of my finance, although I still have enough money to support me
a baseless fear I suppose, but I still fear it somehow

I fear of my future house, no fixed plan on it
although actually I fear to be unable to pay actually

why money become such a matter to me now?
I never really worried about money before
why now? of all time? when I should be readier then my past

I earn quite a sum, although not really high in world’s view
I have my own savings and loans I confident with
then why should I still afraid with my finance?

dear God, only you can show me the way
what should I do?
you know my plan and I hope it’s suit with Yours
but still… show me, show us the way