what is this anxiety

what is this anxiety i fell?
what is it?
since last night this feeling haunt me
like a large shadow chasing after my steps

when i want to fall deeper into love
my mind told me to stop
"do you really want to get hurt once more?"
"you can't survive, you won't survive"

i worried
i want to fall immensely in love
to give my whole self
but i also realize, i can't take another destroy

my heart already in tattered
broken like glass
i only managed to assemble by glue
its still breakable

so what is this anxiety i feel
do i feel if i give myself to her
i will be dissapointed?
do i don't trust her completely?

my other mind told me to let time decide
but i afraid time will betray me
time make my love deeper
when i reach the point of no return, time betray me

by day... by hour
by minutes... by seconds
my love grow
without me realizing

am i afraid?

but this morning
my anxiety defeated by my worries
I'm to worried for her to feel this anxiety
in the end, i do love her more that my anxiety

whatever happens in the future
i try not to think about it
if i must destroyed for the third time
so be it

what i want more now is to be with her
to give my whole self to her
try to be the best for her
and being someone worth of her

i will let God and time to decide
may God have mercy on us
i don't know Your plan
but i believe all your plans have happy ending