drifting away

like a coconut
when they fall from their nest
they fall to unending sea
just drifting away

my feeling now is drifting
in black and dark sea of nothingness
bubbling up and down
nowhere to go

like a kitten
blind to his world
only trust his mother
just drifting away

my feeling cling to old flame
like a moth chasing fire
oblivious to the simple truth
that the flame has turn into ember

like a rock
when the fall into sea
no eyes will gaze upon it
even if its the greatest jewel

my sinking feeling
turn away from surface
getting harder to recognize
as time flow and drifting away

fleeting feeling

the feeling
the feeling i felt
this feeling i once held
this feeling once a world to me

sway by the wind
a zephyr
a slow, calm, soft wind
but a wind nonetheless

am i happy or sad with this
i have no idea
i don't know what future have in store for me
i don't even don't know whether i like it or not

but this feeling i have
start to sway in the wind
fleeting feeling
bit by bit, blow by calm and slow zephyr

teaching is hard

teaching is hard
who says teaching is easy
no matter how smart one is
no matter ho experienced one is
teaching is hard

when student come
the come with various brain
some brain ready to learn
some brain not even want to be here
we must patient and embrace them all

when student come
they come with various situation
some situation pump them up
some situation make them down
we must patient and embrace them all

when student come
they come with different skill
some are skillful
some are skill-less
nonetheless, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
they leave us with another thought
thought of future meeting
whether they understand of not
nonetheless, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
their parents come
some parents bring joy
some parents bring scold
still, we must patient and embrace them all

when student leave
and leave us to rest
we think about ourselves
what should we do to gain food
still, we must patient and embrace them all

a small wind of change

a small breeze coming from nowhere
a small wind of change
come to wash my agony
a bit by a bit

this wind might be small
and incomparable to my sadness
but at least its a start
a small wind of change

fly like bird

i might have been a cage
blocking all your growth
fencing all your will
but i do it all to protect you

i might have been an iron chain
locking on your leg
slow you down in any way
but i do it because i want to be with you

i might have been a strict warden
look at you all the time
watch your every movement
but i do it because i don't want anything bad happened to you

but it's all useless now
how hard the cage
how strong the chain
how strict as i am

you have fly away
like a bird
soar to unseen sky
til i even can't catch any glimpse

you have gone...
leaving an empty cage
an useless chain
and a jobless warden

the cage is now rotten
the chain is now broken
the warden is now sacked
because there are nothing to protect

fly away
go and fly
i will stay here
just right here

if you someday, somehow
tiring of flying
and wish to see me again
you won't losing me

because i am standing here...

walking alone

human are destined to walk in desert of life
sometimes they found other human to walk together
but most of the time they walk alone

some people only walk together
when they have any need or
there are benefits for them

human are such egoist...
maybe that's why God punish us
to walk alone til our death

it seems grim
but at least
people are like that

history

when i see my past

i feel all of it again
it seems it just yesterday

my mistake
my joy

my laugh
my cry

our happiness
our sadness

i feel....
empty

what is it that i feel
i feel empty

like an empty can
like a hollow drum

like....
i am no longer exist...

i wish i died yesterday
stupid wish people may say

but...
i really wish for it now

perhaps in the future i might laugh of this poem
perhaps in the future... i don't even have one

OF ALL DAY!

i wish i died yesterday

i wish i died yeasterday

yesterday and today
only 24 hour apart
only one cycle of earth
only 1 day

yesterday i feel hope
yesterday i feel i could do anything
yesterday i enjoy my live
yesterday i anticipated my future with smile

but today, OF ALL DAY!

today, i feel despair
today, i feel i can't do a single thing right
today, i hate my live
today, i feel my future is dead

how could everything change in one day?
am i that fragile? am i that pathetic?
perhaps... perhaps...
i am fragile, stupid, pathetic, useless

OF ALL DAY!!!!!!!!
why today
i hate myself more now
i do not with for myself anymore
i hate every breath i drew
why i still alive?
oh GOD, just take my lives away
i feel i can't do anything again
not after such pain
a pain that i prepared but never expecting
a pain that i always aware but never expierancing

it's too hurt
way too hurt
i can't bear to see, if it's meaning to see her farewell
i can't bear to hear, if it's meaning to hear her goodbye
i can't bear to feel, if it's meaning a big hole in heart

i loved singing, but i feel numb
i loved acting, but i feel blank
i loved teaching, but i feel dumb
i loved ...., but i feel none

i wish i was died yesterday
when i still have hope
when i still have future
when i still have spirit

now
i just a body without soul
half of my soul already gone
gone......

IT'S GONE DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!
admit it yourself
you prick in cow shit
you pathetic useless piece of dirt

it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone
it's gone

man... i wish i died yesterday

hi everyone

hi everyone...
i'm back

out of vacuum so long
i was blind
i was deaf
i was death.....

enjoy my last poems that was unreleased across the year... only a couple

tidak cukup

ada yang pacarnya Very very very LD
ketemuan 1 tahun sekali
lalu hook up sampai pagi
besok besok tak ketemu lagi

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya very very LD
ketemuan 6 bulan sekali
lalu dating dari pagi
lalu besok pergi ke kota sendiri

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya very LD
ketemuan 1 bulan sekali
lalu nonton film favorit
habis itu tunggu bulan baru lagi

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya LD
ketemuan 1 minggu sekali
ngobrol ngobrol saja sekali
lalu pergi ke salon ngurusin diri

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya D
ketemuan 1 hari sekali
cuman say hi dan hihihi
lalu diem, gak tahu mau ngapain

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya SD
ketemuan 1 jam sekali
cuman mandang sekali
abis itu udah, mending liat yang lain

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya very SD
ketemuan 1 menit sekali
udah bosen kali ye
lihat pun ndak

cukup? tentu tidak

ada yang pacarnya very very SD
ketemuan 1 detik sekali
udah nempel kaya lem UHU
sampe menarik diri supaya copot

cukup? tentu tidak

aku? very very very very SD
ketemuan hampir tiap saat
setiap saat selalu berdua
berdua saja setap saat

cukup? tentu tidak

kalo terpisah, pengennya ketemuan lagi
meski gak ngapa-ngapain
cuman pengen berdua aja
tidap pernah cukup rasanya

banyak maunya

dia banyak maunya
mau ini mau itu
banyak sekali
namun herannya, kok aku menurut saja

dia minta untuk belikan baju
bajunya lumayan mahal
namun ketika dia pakai dan dia tersenyum
langsung kuingin tuk belikan

dia minta untuk cuci tangan selalu
padahal ku lumayan jorok
namun ketika dia mengajakku
sekarang aku selalu cuci tangan

dia minta kubelajar motor
karena kubandel dan tidak bisa
kubelikan saja motor untuk dia pakai
tapi suatu hari akan kubelajar mobil sajalah

dia minta aku makan mie ayam
padahal seumur aku hampir tidak pernah makan diluar
tapi karena dia yang minta
kok sekarang jadi kebiasaan

dia minta beli buah
untuk pencernaanya yang tidak beres
sekarang kok rasanya aku yang tidak puas
kalau sehari gak makan buah

dia minta aku untuk buat puisi
dan dia jarang puas dengan puisiku
tapi sekali puas... rasanya sedunia
jadi akau kubuat terus sampai dia puas

dia minta aku untuk banyak hal
tapi dia pun mengerti kapan aku yang meminta
dia banyak meminta, namun aku juga
maka aku banyak memberi, dia juga

namun apapun yang dia minta
seaneh apapun...
selama ku bisa kerjakan
akan aku penuhi untuk dia

aneh ya?
mungkin, namun bagiku
senyum senangnya
cukup rasanya untuk membayarku

dia bukan siapa siapa

dia bukan putri salju
yang tertidur dalam hutan
yang terbangun dengan senyuman
ketika dicium dengan lembut pada bibirnya

namun senyumannya ketika terbangun
bahkan tampa ciuman sedikitpun
jauh lebih indah dari apapun
meskipun dia bukan putri salju

dia bukan cinderella
yang rela pergi ke pesta sang pangeran
meski harus menderita sengsara
karena sepatu kacanya tertinggal

namun dia rela pergi kemana saja untukku dan untuknya
karena kami ada satu jiwa yang berbeda tubuh
dan menderita sengsara untuk hari depan
yang lebih berharga dibanding sepatu kaca

dia bukan nami
yang bisa mengarahkan going merry
melintasi grand line yang berliku
tanpa rasa takut sedikitpun

namun dia tidak bisa membawa kapal
dia hanya bisa mengarahkan honda vario
melintasi jalan batam yang berdebu
sambil membawaku yang berat sambil tersenyum

dia bukan megawati
yang punya banyak massa
dan wibawa sekelas mantan presiden
dan memiliki kekuatan untuk mengkritik bangsa

namun dia tidak bisa memimpin
dan tidak berwibawa sama sekali
namun dia punya anak-anak yang patuh padanya
meski anak-anak itu bukanlah anak kandungnya

dia bukan britney spears
yang punya suara indah nan merdu
mampu bernyanyi dan menari
yang membuat semua bergoyang karenanya

namun dia hanya bisa menyanyi dengan suara rendah
menari pun seadanya serta tidak lincah
namun dia bisa membuat aku bernyanyi bersamanya
dan menari bersamanya

dia memang bukan siapa-siapa
namun dia segala-galanya bagiku
bagi orang lain dia memang tidak istimewa
namun bagiku, tanpanya hidupku berwarna abu-abu

this love

people said love is wonderful
i wonder what kind of love they feel
when they said love is wonderful
i believe it's not like what i feel

people said love is blind
i wonder they are truly blind or what
can't they see what they have before eyes?
i believe its not like what i see

people said love is expensive
i wonder they are truly that cheapskate
can't they see that how cheap a love is?
i believe its not like what i think

people said love can kill
i wonder what kind of depressive love is that
can't they see around them?
i believe its not what i grasp

people said love is sex
i wonder what kind of bodily thought they have
can't they see the core of love?
i believe its not what i sense

people said love is ...
SO many things, i wonder which is true
i don't really know love
but i know 1 thing





love is Lenny

this year

last year and this year
same date, same time
same occasion, same event
different point of view

last year
i wish for your happiness
i wish for your eternal peace
i wish for your unending opportunity

this year
i wish for our happines
i wish for our eternal peace
i wish for our unending opportunity

last year
i bless you for fortune
i bless you for dignity
i bless you for wisdom

this year
i ask God to bless you for fortune
i ask God to bless you for dignity
i ask God to bless you for wisdom

last year
i give you many things
this year
i only give you 1 thing

this year i only give you myself
since there are nothing i can give higher
since there are nothing to compare
then my sole self

P.S. happy birthday my dearest Lenny

siapa pahlawanmu

siapa pahlawanmu?

siapa pahlawanku dan siapa pahlawanmu
wahai kamu semua yang mendengar
yang mana yang pantas kukagumi?
yang mana yang layak disebut pahlawan?

bangsaku demikian banyak pahlawan
pilihlah yang mana saja
mereka semua tersohor namanya
dan tak tertandingi keberaniannya

siapakah mereka?
kenalpun aku tidak
kalau memang ada banyak
mengapa aku tidak mengerti bahkan satu?

dari pulau yang paling timur
sampai pegunungan yang paling barat
banyak putra putri yang naik
dan turun lagi karena berjuang

apa yang diperjuangkan?
apakah masih perlu berjuang?
apa aku harus berjuang?
bukankah giliranku untuk menikmati hasil perjuangan?

ya sungguh sungguh sungguh benar
mereka memang maju berjuang
untuk kamu, aku dan semua yang lain
untuk bisa menikmati hari esok

jadi buat apa ada hari pahlawan?
toh aku juga tidak kenal mereka
tidak ada urusan denganku pada mereka

untuk memperingati mereka semua
agar ingat bahwa yang dinikmati sekarang
atas jasa mereka semua

itu kan sudah berlalu
yang berlalu biarlah berlalu
tidak usah lagi kita bicarakan
hal yang sudah lama berlalu dari ingatan

sungguh benar kalau seperti itu
jadi siapa pahlawanmu?
kalau bukan mereka, jadi siapa?
siapa yang layak disebut pahlawan sekarang?

itu yang kupertanyakan
siapa pahlawanku?
siapa pahlawanmu?
siapa atau apa itu pahlawan?

pahlawan adalah panutan
pahlawan adalah teladan
pahlawan adalah orang yang patut dicontoh
pahlawan adalah orang yang patut diteladani

jadi siapakah dia?
siapakah?
mengapa begitu sedikit aku mengenal mereka
apakah mereka tidak lagi ada?

lihatlah disekelilingmu
adakah yang patut dicontoh?
adakah yang patut diteladani?
adakah yang pantas disebut pahlawan?